You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
