Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
