screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize