We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
