Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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