Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
