Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
one might say we're banned from that church
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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