I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
