i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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