im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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