Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
