we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize