she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
