Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
