During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
