Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
