in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
