Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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