My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
did i just pee glitter
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
