his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
