you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If I die, sorry about rent.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
