Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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