Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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