I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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