Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
