All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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