my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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