sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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