I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
