she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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