God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
