Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
