He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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