So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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