He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
