I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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