Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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