Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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