You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
