It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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