We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
