Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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