I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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