i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
