Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
