i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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