One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I understand Curling. That high.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize