No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
