in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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