I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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