She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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