His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
