my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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