Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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