ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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