just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
