I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize