i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
