At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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