if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
