bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
